A friend has a much younger sibling going through hell.  She did the most amazing thing and asked all of her friends to write to him, so that she can give him a letter each morning to help him feel less alone......this is my letter.

Hey __________,
I hear that you are having a really rough time, and I'm going to start this letter by saying that I absolutely know that my words will seem stupid and as if I don't understand. I won't, no matter how hard I try, be able to convey that I know just how shitty you feel.  I totally get it.  I get it because I spent 10 years suicidal.  I tried pills, anorexia, cutting, crashing cars....I wanted out. I get it. It sucks and the worst part is that you can't convey just how much it sucks and how freaking hard it is to get up every morning. People tell you all sorts of inane and stupid things about life being precious and a gift and some will even tell you that it's a sin to reject it.  And you will say silently in your head, bullshit.  I get it.  I wanted out.  Every time that I tried and then found myself awake again, I was pissed.  But you know what? After a while, I realized that it was ok that I woke up each and every time. I'm not going to tell you that life gets better or that people get better.  They do or they don't.  But, YOU, you absolutely get better.  You get stronger and smarter and you eventually find something or someone that makes  your heart beat a little faster and puts a smile on your face, no matter how hard you resist it.  You get better at knowing when a  dark time is taking over and you find help.  You learn that music or dance or books or horses or skiing or hockey or running speaks to you in a way that people can't and you find a way to spend time there, in that place that is kind and loving and feeds your heart.  I still have really dark days.  I still don't believe that life is always a gift or precious.  But I know that I can stop the actions that follow those feelings.  I don't have to do anything because, the feeling, though incredibly strong, and often true, that feeling will pass or change or evolve into something else. And in allowing the darkness to be ok, I've found that I have something to say. I speak as an actress, as a dancer, as a teacher, and as a choreographer and because I've survived the darkness in myself, I have something special that a lot of other people don't have and can't access.  So, I can promise you that even if life continues to be challenging and people continue to suck and treat you badly, you will rise above it and find a place that is yours.  I urge you, beg you, plead with you to reach out instead of going inside yourself and find something to hold onto.  My sister found horses.  I'm a dancer. Find one counselor, one older mentor, someone who can introduce you to a world that  you don't know about and start there. High school kids are mean because they don't know yet how to be kind, but you can find people who do know and you can find them in surprising places. I urge you to find those people and stop looking to the ones that you already know. Once you do that, you'll find that life can be surprising and beautiful and worth sticking around for.
Nancy