Good Actor Week!

Sometimes the stars and planets align here in LA and you get to enjoy an awesome actor week. I had such a week this month. Not only did I get to shoot a short film, I went to the Ovation Awards where I walked the red carpet and was surprised to discover that I am actually a part of a really great theater community. There was a good deal of unexpected recognition of my work (and of myself) that, I am almost loathe to admit, REALLY felt validating.

It can be embarrassing to admit that you need outside validation. We should be able to find within ourselves whatever it is that makes us continue. That said, there is nothing like the rush of a stranger coming up to you and saying "I saw you in xyz and you were amazing!" It's kind of awesome, especially when said person is a bigwig in an industry in which you still feel like an outsider.

photo credit: Ryan Miller

Big Breakin' , produced by Twistville, shot Jan.14-17. It was a BLAST. What happens when a community center dance class is given the opportunity to audition for a big music video? Chaos of the best kind. Throw in a teacher with ties to Paula Abdul, a rival group of dancers and a bunch of "semi-pros" trying to get in on the teacher's connections and you have a situation rife with conflict. Mattio Martinez was our fantastic director and Mike Esperanza our wonderful choreographer. I look forward to working with both of them again!


Finally, I had a breakthrough in my constant struggle to understand my family dynamic, and I was able to achieve that through acting as well. While working through a scene in class, my wonderful coach (Richard Seyd) complimented me on my ability to stay strong and not back down in the face of what were pretty strong views coming at me. I did a good job with it and felt as if I had held my ground. On the drive home I suddenly realized that this standing of my ground was why my family found me so "bitchy" and hard to deal with on this last trip to the compound. I've spent my entire life swallowing my opinions and feelings around them, so when I actually spoke up this time around, I was being a bitch and selfish. The challenge now lies in how to deal with that. I do not want a repeat of this last visit. It was no fun for anyone, yet I do want to hold onto my sense of self. I need to find a way to do so without getting in the face of people who don't want to change. It will be a challenge for sure, but one that I think, going in with knowledge and self-awareness, I can meet.