Thanksgiving is a hard day for me--my former crazy and current shy and slightly neurotic selves combine, waking up to a day that sits on me, loaded with possible pitfalls. I've yet to negotiate this day well in public, and usually find I fare best staying home, away from family drama and well meaning but honestly, clueless friends. It's not a perfect solution. I often feel lonely and like a social misfit, but I find that preferable to being triggered by the layers of food and family and all. It's cowardly I admit; self preservation often can be. It usually upsets people when you say you are spending the day alone. It's almost unpatriotic, certainly not "normal." They take it personally, which it isn't. It's just my way of holding on to what keeps me sane. Routine, work and solitude.
I do take the day to recognize what has changed in my life; what keeps the crazy in check. I have a lot to be grateful for this year. I love my work: dancing, teaching, performing, choreographing! All of it is so fantastic. We got our second awesome review for The Limitations of Genetic Technology. Backstage West lists us as a critic's pick! Read it here. How awesome is that?? Two big hits in a row. I also have a few great teaching jobs. I love love love my kids at the Performing Arts Center. I am finding my way with the kids at Gabriella Charter School, finding new ways each day to reach them and inspire them. Some days are better than others, but it's definitely something to be excited about. My beautiful little muses at Centre Stage Dance both inspire me and give me more and more confidence as a choreographer. I have some truly awesome friends. Awesome. And my tiny little family is pretty cool too. There is a long way to go in making this life actually one that works, but I'm so far from where I was just a few years ago that life is mostly good.
And that's where I'm at this Thanksgiving. Grateful for what is there and hopeful that there is more.....
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